Thursday, March 29, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Either the weather is very hot or I've regained my high metabolism rate. After a meal i start sweating like crazy even with the fan blowing directly at me.
watched finish zhong ji yi ban already. i realised taiwan shows have very good plots but lousy endings. anyways compared to singapore shows its much better.
watched finish zhong ji yi ban already. i realised taiwan shows have very good plots but lousy endings. anyways compared to singapore shows its much better.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
start of all things
The end of all things is the start of all things.
Common tests are over. I am so certain that I'm going to do worse than ever.
March camp is over too - just only. For the first time in many camps, I actually enjoyed a camp. Kudos to Chengwei. It was really great yet at the same time frustrating. Great because it was relatively slack and we didn't overly tire ourselves and the juniors had fun. Frustrating because throughout the camp I found myself thinking about a lot of things, especially on the first night when I couldn't get to sleep. Thought about Nanyang, about insociability, about council, about the trouble I have gotten into in my studies, about you-know-who and about friendship. I really don't want to be a shadow but courage gets in the way.
I am really scared that the camp although bonded us (seniors and juniors) together, bonding itself is not enough to instill the values that the "hell" camp last year give us. I think although the seniors totally made themselves hate-able, they made us really close within the council and build up a kind of discipline that, although many don't realise, helped build the council up into what it is today. At the end of the camp, they still lack the seriousness and urgency and maybe a certain determination to succeed.
Then again you can't always have the cake.
H3 Geog is showing a potential full-blown significance on my life. I'll probably have to visit libraries tomorrow, get as much information as possible and get my appointments up for interviews. And there are surveys to give out. I haven't even gotten the survey questions confirmed. A lot of things to be done by tonight. *shivers at the imagination of a pile of readings*
Then there is council stuff to do. Igloo anniversary, unfortunately led by an incompetent person. Survey compilations!
and I have to finish my math homework before tuition. All these in 3 days. Goodbye to KO one.
Common tests are over. I am so certain that I'm going to do worse than ever.
March camp is over too - just only. For the first time in many camps, I actually enjoyed a camp. Kudos to Chengwei. It was really great yet at the same time frustrating. Great because it was relatively slack and we didn't overly tire ourselves and the juniors had fun. Frustrating because throughout the camp I found myself thinking about a lot of things, especially on the first night when I couldn't get to sleep. Thought about Nanyang, about insociability, about council, about the trouble I have gotten into in my studies, about you-know-who and about friendship. I really don't want to be a shadow but courage gets in the way.
I am really scared that the camp although bonded us (seniors and juniors) together, bonding itself is not enough to instill the values that the "hell" camp last year give us. I think although the seniors totally made themselves hate-able, they made us really close within the council and build up a kind of discipline that, although many don't realise, helped build the council up into what it is today. At the end of the camp, they still lack the seriousness and urgency and maybe a certain determination to succeed.
Then again you can't always have the cake.
H3 Geog is showing a potential full-blown significance on my life. I'll probably have to visit libraries tomorrow, get as much information as possible and get my appointments up for interviews. And there are surveys to give out. I haven't even gotten the survey questions confirmed. A lot of things to be done by tonight. *shivers at the imagination of a pile of readings*
Then there is council stuff to do. Igloo anniversary, unfortunately led by an incompetent person. Survey compilations!
and I have to finish my math homework before tuition. All these in 3 days. Goodbye to KO one.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
In a changed opinion today. I started thinking that maybe Irving Kristol is quite right after all. "Democracy cannot ensure an equality in conditons - Democracy can only provide an quality in opportunity." To a certain extent I think this rather applies to life as a whole. We are born into unfair conditions; there will always be people who are wealthier and more intelligent placing them at an advantage. But I still believe that everybody has an equal opportunity at a successful life, ignoring the definition of a successful life since it varies. Those who are facing repetitive unemployment, who are at the bottom end of the meritocratic system are there because they have not given themselves ample opportunity to reach their full potential.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
tired.
have u ever had the feeling of everything weighing down on you and you feel like just crying and letting evrything out. but you just can't do it for some reason? ... maybe it because i hardly cry.
whatever i do, somehow my whole family will know. even the most private conversation with my brother is taken away. i feel like in 1984. watched. scrutinised.
after talking to my uncle yesterday while my council was deciding her school. i feel so... heavy. i'm so so scared that i won't do well and i won't get anywhere and i would waste away my 2 years. i've never felt this way before which is ... frightening ... like i'm in a nightmare and i can't get out of it. its not me to concentrate on my studies... close up even though i would dearly love it.
its depressing to know how helpless i am against societal forces.
after vday i'm going to chuck whatever i'm not supposed to be thinking about behind. yes.
i hate to think i don't have the strenght to fight for what i want.
whatever i do, somehow my whole family will know. even the most private conversation with my brother is taken away. i feel like in 1984. watched. scrutinised.
after talking to my uncle yesterday while my council was deciding her school. i feel so... heavy. i'm so so scared that i won't do well and i won't get anywhere and i would waste away my 2 years. i've never felt this way before which is ... frightening ... like i'm in a nightmare and i can't get out of it. its not me to concentrate on my studies... close up even though i would dearly love it.
its depressing to know how helpless i am against societal forces.
after vday i'm going to chuck whatever i'm not supposed to be thinking about behind. yes.
i hate to think i don't have the strenght to fight for what i want.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
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